Unsolicited advice disguised as a birthday greeting

For Jon on his 21st birthday who is not happy with me at the moment because I chose not to help him celebrate his birthday by paying for a limo. I hope your birthday is happy and safe. Remember that I love you more than anything even when we don’t agree. Where do you think you got all that stubbornness?

HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY!

Birthdays are a celebration of life.

Every day of life is a gift.

Each and every day of life is a gracious gift from God. Choose to be thankful and joyful regardless of the circumstances.

Joy comes from within.

Milestone Birthdays mark the chapters of our lives like stepping stones along a path. This milestone marks the importance of where you are at this very moment. So, take a moment to celebrate this day, this moment in your life.

This is the perfect time to look back and see where you have been. Embrace the happiness and good fortune as well as the hardships and grief and be thankful for all of it because it has made you the person you are today and it has given you everything you need to take the next step.

Think for a moment about that next step.

Will your path be straight? Will your journey go as planned?
Of course not! So, plan your trip well and reassess often.

Birthdays are our own personal New Years Eve, a perfect time to celebrate and a perfect time for reflection and resolution.

On your birthday give some thought to what you want for yourself. Dream about what you want to have, what you want to do, where you want to go and who you want to be.

What will you do to make those dreams come true? What will you have to give up? What is the first step? Begin today as a gift to yourself.

Make birthday wishes and plans!

Give yourself the gift of a healthier Body, Mind, Heart and Soul

And MOST IMPORTANTLY…

Always remember that you are loved and that you are not alone in celebrating this special day, the day we celebrate YOU!!

Dear Abby

Dear Abby,

I have a friend with a dilemma. She has a neighbor on the other side of the back fence with a barking dog. If the neighbor lived next door she thinks it would be easy to casually mention the barking when they both happened to be in the front yard but this neighbor shares the back fence. It is a very tall privacy fence and she has no idea who the neighbor is or what the dog looks like although she suspects the dog is a little yappy sort of dog based on the annoying bark.

Now, my friend understands that dogs bark. In fact, she has a couple of beagles and beagles are known for their distinctive howl. When her dogs bark her German speaking boyfriend storms outside in his underwear and yells, “WAS IST LOS? KOMMST DU! MACHT SCHNELL! KOMEN SIE HIER! DAS IST VERBOTEN!” I’m sure all the neighbors love that! but at least in 15 seconds, it’s over. Her beagles, or her boyfriend for that matter, would never to be allowed to bark incessantly or at 3am which is exactly what this yappy neighbor dog does. So, her question is…

Is it ok to spray your neighbors dog with the hose?

She wouldn’t do it if it didn’t work so well as a bark deterrent but it does work and due to the tall privacy fence the dogs owner can’t see her doing it and probably doesn’t have any idea why little Muffin is soaking wet all the time.

Her boyfriend says that it is completely unacceptable to spray the neighbor dog with the hose but she thinks the neighbor would probably prefer it to the police being called or a nasty note being left. It actually helps the neighbor by training their dog in acceptable behavior and it saves the neighbor from having to get out of bed in the middle of the night and do anything about it themselves.

She has taken a poll among her friends and so far she is losing but it is very close.

So? Is it ok to spray Muffin with the hose? or what?

signed,

Frau Feuerschlauch

Red Prime Bond Girl

Red Prime Steak from their website @ www.redprimesteak.com

when I eat @redprimesteak I think about being a Bond girl crawling under and back flipping over the laser-like red lights. is that just me?

Googletrips

When I was a little girl my favorite books were Richard Scarry’s Busy Town books. For me, he was the Grandma Moses of Children’s storybooks. The pages of his books contained detailed scenes of Busy Town that were perfectly out of perspective allowing me to glimpse into the lives of Lowly Worm and Huckle Cat. They showed the tiniest detail and the big picture all at once and everything important was labeled so I could learn the names of important things like the fire engine or the toothbrush. My favorite Richard Scarry book, What Do People Do All Day, captured moments in time on the streets of BusyTown. On one page I could see a window washer washing windows, a cat making a phone call, a car salesman running after a customer and many other characters all living their lives all at once. Fascinating!

Today, I feel the same sense of wonder when I search the world on Google’s Street View. I am fascinated with being able to see the big picture and the smallest detail all at once. I visit places I have been and places I hope to see. I “walk” down the streets of Rome and translate the signs outside of the shops, I look at my car in my own driveway(weird), I preview places before I go so they are easier to find and I sometimes look at the funny details others have found while looking at street view like people fighting, kissing, stealing, going into adult bookstores, sunbathing, walking down the street in scuba gear, peeing on the side of the road or climbing into the trunk of their car…all captured in one moment in time.

Usually I keep this a secret but I mentioned it to someone recently and they said they did the same thing so, I guess I am not the only one guilty of taking Google-vacations.

I don’t remeber Lowly Worm peeing on the side of the road or Huckle Cat carrying a shotgun across the road in South Dakota but…

it really is a Busy Busy World and the details are fascinating!

Marcia, Jan, Cindy and Susie

I’ve always been able to relate just about anything to an episode of the Brady Bunch. For instance, I left my glasses somewhere and so today, when I was trying to do my job without them, I was laughing to myself remembering the time Jan didn’t think she needed to wear her glasses and she ended up crashing her bike in the garage and breaking the framed photograph the kids were going to give Carol.

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, “Hey wait a minute, isn’t she a dental hygienist? You mean she had sharp instruments in someones face and she couldn’t see!” First of all, it wasn’t in “someones” face, there were 9 someones and second, I can see without them I just have to get uncomfortably close to my patient. Besides, I only have to wear them for reading, the computer and working…which means pretty much most of the time. Like Jan, I don’t like them and don’t want to wear them and often don’t but I do at work or at least I did until today.

I know what else you are thinking. You are thinking that it is weird that I relate everything to a Brady episode. I thought everyone my age did that. I’m sure that somewhere kids were coming home to fresh baked cookies and milk and a game of stickball but everyone I knew came home while their parents were still at work, sat in front of the TV with a Ding Dong and watched the Brady Bunch. Every day. Every episode. It is ingrained in my memory as much as any of my childhood friends.

I once had a dream that I was a guest at my own wedding and since the bride(me) had not made her appearance yet, I looked around and was fascinated with everything. I wondered who I was marrying, why I had chosen a theater instead of a church and why I would have chosen blue bridesmaid dresses. I searched the crowd to see who was there. Then I noticed at the front, sitting next to my mom, was Alice. I thought that was strange. I wondered why the housekeeper would be sitting with the family but then I thought, “It’s not really that strange, I mean, she practically raised us!”

In my waking hours I am aware that Alice was not really my childhood housekeeper and that I am in fact, not a Brady, but apparently, somewhere in the back of my mind…

I can’t imagine what you must be thinking now.

Kids and Heroes

Today Farrah and MJ died.

I remember in grade school playing Charlie’s Angels on the playground with my best friends Joanie and Dawn. I really wanted to be Farrah (who didn’t?) and was very disheartened that they decided I should be “the smart one” instead.

I remember in high school listening to Michael Jackson’s Thriller for the first time with Kerstin and Judy. One of them, I can’t remember who, said, “You have to hear this!” It really was unlike anything we had heard before. MTV was still new and seeing him dance was unbelievable. The moonwalk may seem silly to my kids but there had not been a dancer so revolutionary in decades.

I also remember watching Farrah self destruct on Late Night with Letterman and her sad reality show where she just seemed crazy.

And I will never remember Michael Jackson without remembering that he was most probably a child molester which is, in my book, along with serial murdering cannibalism, one of the two only unforgivable sins.

I remember feeling sorry for Farrah as she deteriorated before our eyes and sorry for MJ as he continuously mutilated himself to be what he wanted to be but never really was.

When my boys were small we had many conversations about athletes and politicians and we decided that it was not good to idolize people but to admire what they do well. We should not forget that we are all, in the end, human. Our lives are all good, bad, tragic and inspirational all at once. Put your faith in God and not man, for men are human and will certainly disappoint. Only God will never fail you but find inspiration in all that is good, passionate, creative and brave in the imperfect creatures around you.

Kids and Heroes by The Bouncing Souls

Hey where have you gone?
You used to be the one that we looked up to
It seemed like nothing could break you down
How high was the price? And was it worth it?
Nothing in life is sure bet anyway
You’re gone. I guess you weren’t here from the start.
In the end, it’s all a question of heart.

Hey where did it go?
Everything we fought for, and everything it meant
Maybe we were just naive, but I still believe
There are only a few things that really belong to me
Who I am, who I was, and who I want to be

Hey where have I gone?
I used to be the one looking for the hero
In some far off place, blindly ever forward
Never knowing all along, the truth
Was right here in my own song

oh, that’s different…nevermind.

I had a funny conversation with a client at the dental office where I work. After my initial greeting and health review I took some radiographs and left the room to put them in the developer. When I returned as I was putting on my mask and gloves he said to me, “Did you ever notice how everything is about sex?” hmmmm…where was he going with this? I thought about cutting that line of conversation off right there by saying, “Not dentistry mister. Dentistry is never about sex. Not EVER.” but I decided to give him a chance and see where he was going with it. I raised an eyebrow and said “uhhhh..ok?” and he he said, “There was an ad for a museum on the radio just now and it said something about coming to see NAKED something. It’s a museum! Why would they want to use that angle? Everything these days is about sex. Kids are bombarded with sex. Even at museums. It’s not like it used to be when I was a kid.” He was about 40, soooo…about my age and I definitely don’t remember the 80’s as being the innocent “good ol’ days” but whatever. So, I just said, “Well I suppose if you are in advertising it would be much more difficult to actually be creative so they just take the easy way out and use sexual innuendo.”

Later an ad for the Sam Noble Museum in Norman came on. It said that the Sauroposeidon was the worlds largest dinosaur and you could come and see a reconstruction of the neck and head of the amazing beast right here in Oklahoma.

neck and head…not nekked.

oh …that’s different….nevermind.

Do you remember Miss Emily Litella?

popcorn and water balloons

We went to the Drive-in movie last weekend in Guthrie. We brought drinks, snacks, a sweater in case it got cold…that sort of thing. The kid in the car next to us brought silly string and water balloons. I got my camera out just in case there was an incident.

The Drive

The Drive-in

Yes, those are water balloons

Oh, Hell no

Pink Golf Balls

GOLF

1. Doesn’t involve balls coming at my face

2. No one is trying to tackle me, or knock my ball out of the fairway

3. Practicing is fun(Think lesson from Costner in Tin Cup)

4. Requires lots of shopping and cute shoes

5. Drinking alcoholic beverages while playing is encouraged

6. Playing fields are very often next to country clubs and luxurious resorts and spas

Tin Cup

Saints and Angels and Demons

We spent last Saturday in San Antonio wandering along the riverwalk eating Mexican food and trying not to fall in the river. We stopped at this statue of San Antonio himself, Saint Anthony of Padua holding the Christ Child. We were surprised to see tears streaming down the face of both Saint Anthony and Baby Jesus.

OK, it was probably because it was pouring rain but I took a photo anyway and declared it a miracle. We were certain that we would surely see an image of The Virgin Mary in our tostadas at dinner but that miracle has not come to pass as of yet.

We got out of the downpour by going to see Angels and Demons at the movies. The movie uses churches and sculpture in Rome as clues. I love reading about Saints and I have recently been learning Italian and studying the churches and art of Italy in anticipation of someday seeing these treasures in person. One of the Sculptures in the movie was the Ecstasy of St Teressa by Bernini in the Chapel of Santa Maria della Vittoria. Saint Teresa of Avila was a very interesting women. She had a series of visions one of which was the subject of Bernini’s sculpture.

In her own words,

“He was not tall, but short, marvelously beautiful, with a face which shone as though he were one of the highest of the angels, who seem to be all of fire: they must be those whom we call Seraphim…. I saw in his hands a long golden spear, and at the point of the iron there seemed to be a little fire. This I thought that he thrust several times into my heart, and that it penetrated to my entrails. When he drew out the spear he seemed to be drawing them with it, leaving me all on fire with a wondrous love for God. The pain was so great that it caused me to utter several moans; and yet so exceeding sweet is this greatest of pains that it is impossible to desire to be rid of it, or for the soul to be content with less than God.”

The Ecstasy of St Teresa-I'll have what she's having

So, the marvelously beautiful male angel took his long golden spear and thrust it into her several times. it had a tip that was on fire and there was moaning and the pain was sweet and….ummm ok, you get the picture.

So anyway, I am always hoping for miracles big, small or multiple.